Advice to Self

When someone is trying to gag you on more than your fair share of humble pie it is time to walk away. If you are not able to walk away, it is time to go into an alternate state of consciousness. Politely excuse yourself — or don’t — but walk, walk quietly and calmly; find another place to be. Once you are in a safe place, cry if you want to, as much as you want to, and then thank God for giving you the wisdom to separate yourself from the person or people bent on destroying you emotionally.

Why were they belligerent? That is their business. Your business is to be kind. If you can’t be kind, separate yourself until you can. When you have your kind words, go back and say them, if appropriate. This is what Jesus meant by turning the other cheek. When someone is belligerent toward you, be kind in return. That does not mean to just swallow insults and humiliation. When things are obviously not going well, when someone seems to have it in for you, when someone else sees you as a convenient scapegoat for their own frustrations, there is no way to have a two-way conversation with that person. They are a meat eater, and you are their meat. They are just mean, and you can’t reason with them. They don’t see their problem as their own responsibility. They see you as their problem. If they can hurt and humiliate you, they feel better, at least they have power over something. The things you don’t want to do (and I have done these things in the past, but now am learning this (for me) new technique) are:

I) Don’t become angry and belligerent in return. They won’t pause for you to speak, so you have to speak louder and louder. Pretty soon you are both yelling really ugly things at each other. It could even come to blows. Better to keep the mouth zipped.

2) Don’t admit to wrong-doing. The exception would be, if you can be a stand-up comic and be the butt of the joke just for laughs, go ahead, say “It was all my fault. Ha ha.” However, if admitting to guilt, wrong-doing, or personal short-comings at that moment would be humiliating, don’t do it. God does not want you to be humiliated. Humble yes, but not humiliated; there is a difference. Humble means you are not going to shove your pain on someone else. (That is what the other person is trying to do to you.) Humiliated means someone succeeded in shoving their pain on you. No way Jose. I am not going to take that on. That is not mine.

(Found in an old journal from September, 2014.)

Advertisements
Categories AdviceTags

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close